Boyfriend Dumping

[madi]

is there a nice way to do this sort of thing?

[Cabe]

not to my knowledge

[Big Giant Head]

Cabe are you actually completely useless? :)

[Cabe]

yes

[Joey]

personally i'm quite glad that cabe has no experience of dumping boyfriends...

[Cabe]

FH think VERY carefully about what you've just said.

[wishy]

Just be very simular to protecting yourself from wizzo :D

[Joey]

why does everyone insist on twisting everything i say?

[wishy]

Cos were twisted weird individuals?

[Joey]

Wishy... if only it wasn't true

[madi]

9 replies and not a single helpfull one


tut.

[Jazza]

I think Cabe nailed it, there isn't a nice way to do it.

Of course, if he reads this board, then he'll already know, which will save you the trouble :)

[Tsung]

Well from experince of being dumped many times :(, this is what not to do/say....

"We can still be friends", very dodgy line, usually mean, "I want to play the field, and keep you in reserve".


"Its not you, its me", means "it is you, and u dont realise it"

"Your too good for me", means "Im too good for u"

Tell it straight how it is, if you dont like the guy, tell him. Whatever u do dont try to soften the blow, also, dont let the poor bloke think ur still intrested. (Eg. phone him up afterwards, keep in touch, etc, etc).

You might have mutal friends, so if you still plan to go out with said possie, and he's about, dont make any special efforts around him. (He's only likely to try the guilt trip on you!, and try not to get too drunk near him!).

Far better, be honest, split up with the guy, make it clean... Sure he might be upset, but he'll get over it quicker.

Hope that lot helps ^ :)

[madi]

tried, got tears and 'i love you so much' and 'i will do anything to keep you ' and 'i will change' and 'give me a chance to show you i can treat you better' etc.

total emotional blackmail.

feel like a right bitch.

[Tom]

Well, if the truth didn't work, lie to him :)

You could always shoot him if you get really desperate :D

[wildhog]

Nah!
Grind him into the ground madi

ur a Scene Wh0r3 now, ur a gamer, ur one of us, ur far too good for him!

Btw the answer to the I really love you, is to turn around and say, well i dont love you, im not happy with you, and if you do really love me, youll let me go and be happy.

ive always told my Women, that if they dont want me anymore to tell me, because i care for them, i want them to be happy, and if its not with me, So be it.

Im prepared for any witty comebacks or pisstakes guys, and i really dont care, im serious, its a serious matter, so do ur worst!

- Wildhog

[Tom]

/me thinks...

bah! cant think of anything good enough..

Well i think the worst is on its way, but at the very least, we could get you a dictionary :)

[Tsung]

tried, got tears and 'i love you so much' and 'i will do anything to keep you ' and 'i will change' and 'give me a chance to show you i can treat you better' etc.

Ok, Madi, this is the normal response you'd get. Lets be honest here, and break it down..

"I will do anything to keep you"?, keep you?, what are you an item. If you actually mean somthing too him, why promise this now?. Sounds more like he's worried what his m8's will think, when they finds out he's been dumped.

"I will change", yeah right, for a week, a month maybe, but it will feel totally unnatural. Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who's going to agree with everything you say, just to keep you?.

The thing that really bothers me thou' is "give me a chance to show you I can treat you better", if he really said that, dont go near the guy. He had a chance when he was going out with you, but you wernt worth it then. Now YOUR leaving him, and he realise hes not the one pushing the buttons in the relationship.

Sorry this sounds harsh, but stick to your ground, If you've dumped him for a good reason.

Other things u'll likely to encounter...
"Im going to kill myself" (classic blackmail line)
"If you loved me you wouldnt do this to me?" another

Anyways, stick to your guns. You'll be fine, we're all friends here :)

Ps. Wildhog, what u said makes perfect sense.

[Lord Chaos]

Originally posted by madi
tried, got tears and 'i love you so much' and 'i will do anything to keep you ' and 'i will change' and 'give me a chance to show you i can treat you better' etc.

total emotional blackmail.

feel like a right bitch.

Why do you want to dump him?...weren't you in love with him, or doesn't that count anymore?

:sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep: :sheep:

[Lord Chaos]

(Sorry for posting twice in a row)

Originally posted by *Tsunami*


"I will do anything to keep you"?, keep you?, what are you an item. If you actually mean somthing too him, why promise this now?. Sounds more like he's worried what his m8's will think, when they finds out he's been dumped.


There are many terms in relationsships and love that has item'ish sound to it, this doesn't mean that the person thinks you are an item. Maybe he felt he did good in the relationsship, but Madi, didn't tell him, so the breakup is like a bucket of water, and he wants seriously to do better or at least do whatever is displeasing, people do and can change if they want to.

I am not necessarily saying THIS guy is like that however.


"I will change", yeah right, for a week, a month maybe, but it will feel totally unnatural. Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who's going to agree with everything you say, just to keep you?.


See above. This also depends upon the length of the relationsship, sometimes it can be a little thing, that the other doesn't say that sets them off or annoy them, and it should be talked about, not just dumped.

(again, I have too little information about this guy)


The thing that really bothers me thou' is "give me a chance to show you I can treat you better", if he really said that, dont go near the guy. He had a chance when he was going out with you, but you wernt worth it then. Now YOUR leaving him, and he realise hes not the one pushing the buttons in the relationship.


Maybe he didn't KNOW she wanted to be treated better, many act perfectly fine and happy, but really underneath doesn't like it. Its not all men/women who wants to be treated the best of the best.


Sorry this sounds harsh, but stick to your ground, If you've dumped him for a good reason.


Yes, IF its a good reason, but hurting another humans feelings like that, IS a serious matter, since YOU went into it also, so your reasons better be good.


Other things u'll likely to encounter...
"Im going to kill myself" (classic blackmail line)
"If you loved me you wouldnt do this to me?"


Well, there are two kinds of people you hit here, one is the ones who really do just play games, and then there are the serious ones, there are people who has serious trouble getting over finding The "one", and yes, I know one who even commited suicide over it, and another who has ever since been in and out of mental institutions, both really great guys.

Second quote, well, there is the key...IF you love him, IF you love him, you do have a commitment to your relationsship, or you are false, so again, take a good hard look at it.


Anyways, stick to your guns. You'll be fine, we're all friends here :)

Ps. Wildhog, what u said makes perfect sense.

As for Wildhog, yes, that is true, but not without seriously thinking about it (which I hope Madi is),.

Your "Women"?, you have a harem?, or have been dumped alot?;)

Doesn't sound like you've found the "one", that will make you pretty attached to him/her.

[wildhog]

Ay!
we're not here to analyse my past relationships, we're here to help madi out! I understand to love, and to be loved, and understand what i would do for those i love and have loved.

Just giving a point of view,
im with *TSUNAMI* though,,, if madi's had enough she should get out, she must of thought it over alot to decide its over!

Ima back her up all the way on this, and i trust that seeing as shes an adult she has thought all she feels she needs to, so i wont even question it.


- Wildhog

Its just my point of view, from this seat, im on madi's side all the way!

[Ko*D4RKNE55]

well heres sommint thats just happend to me!!!!!
yeah im a bloke and i was with my g/f for 20 months!!
If a bloke dont take that hard WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!!!!
if you truly loved him try to find out why it has gone talk it over with him!! Im still friends with my EX! and there is only friendship between us!

im not the best on relationships as a matter of fact this was me first seriouse one but i felt true and i mean "TRUE" love! and still do dont throw it all away see if you can sort it out

[madi]

I dont love him. Its as simple as that.

We jumped into a relation ship VERY fast (two weeks after i split up from my husband we moved in together as flatmates and ended up in the same bed)

I know its horrid to say it was a rebound thing but i think it was, we have very little in common and have spent most of the last 8 months fighting.

He is a young guy (24) and wants to go out and party a lot, get drunk and crash at mates houses and stuff, he never called to say where he was or what he was doing he just wouldnt come home.

He has the shortest temper of anyone i've ever met (no-one has ever told me to f**ck right off to my face about the best way to cook chicken before)

He is shocked now to say the least, probably because i have been shutting away how unhappy i have been (though i have to add that it was pretty obvious- i even got perscribed anti depressants by the doctor (didnt take them though)) and i've just been hoping that it will get better.

Having told him that its over and him having exepted that now, i feel so much better. Like i can get on with my life and stuff now.

I may be ending things a little prematurely but i have experience of seeing a realationship out to the bitter end and it isnt nice, i may be being selfish doing this now but i think it will save us both a lot of heartache in the future.

[Tsung]

Well by the sounds of it u've made the right decision Madi...

No disrespect to the guy, but, it sounds like he wanted to be young free and single, or at least live that lifestyle. He didnt sound like he was ready for any commitment, which is fine, but he shouldn't expect you to be there for him just when it suited him.

In a way, youve done him a favour as well, he might learn to give more respect and treat future relationships more seriously.

[KermitTheFrag]

/me agrees with Tsunami for he speaks wholly rounded words of wisdom (not bad for MpUK forums!).

[wildhog]

AMEN TSUNAMI!
Case Dissmissed
GG
WP
Kick Ass!

- Wildhog

[TheGuyver]

Well look on the bright side...

You are free and single again!!

just before i8!

Free to play a different game! :)

/me gets back in his box

Seriously tho u did the right thing. Sounds like it just wasnt ment to be, and there is no point making your self unhappy. It just gets worse. (trust me :/ )

Yours a pint madi? Sorted.

[wishy]

You don't want him, i got a bigger computer :D

[wildhog]

*SIGH* and hence the hunt begins
839 geeks VS. Madi

I know where my money sits
Right Madi ;-)

- Wildhog

[KermitTheFrag]

lol .... sad arent they.... :p:. Most of them wouldnt know what to do either!

[wildhog]

Even if they were given instructions, written on the girls naked backside....

- Wildhog

[Joey]

erm... just checkin... where is the backside on a girl?

(j/k) :smokin:

[wishy]

839 to 1? Nah, more like 100 to 1. Bet that makes you feel better madi :D

[madi]

i counted up the names and i think there are 6 other girls going.


woohoo, maybe we can pack up and fight you all off with big sticks. lol.


Nahh, i'm just a geek to really.

[KermitTheFrag]

Ooooh dont hit me... might bruise *grabs handbag* :D

[Lord Chaos]

Originally posted by madi
I dont love him. Its as simple as that.

We jumped into a relation ship VERY fast (two weeks after i split up from my husband we moved in together as flatmates and ended up in the same bed)


Well, if this is the case, then I think you made a good decision.

Now you've learned till next time to take it easy too :)

[Messy]

ive had a little experience in being dumped, and it hurts, BUT the one thing that i did understand is when one girl simply kissed me goodbye, left a note and walked. worked for me. i got over her in under a day.
u **** with a mans head and ull **** it up, its this simple. the easiest way is to stay absolutely honest, and unemotional. if u can do that u can dump.
/me scratches head, /me scratches balls, "WHERES MY BEER, BITCH?" :P
Messy

[Cabe]

Messy - Red Shirt, 3l33t, and a gentleman...... what the hell???? Who spiked my drinks??????

/me looks at Kermit and Messy in turn