My life is currently ****

[Toptotty]

Ok, so my dad died just under 3 weeks ago of an out of the blue heart attack, no warning nothing, just boom and he's gone.

I'm struggling to cope with this, and haven't yet been able to return to work due to being the executor of the will and having so much **** to sort out. Plus my brain is like a sieve at the mo, keep forgetting stuff etc. I can't cry, it's like somethings stopping me, but sometimes it hurts so much it takes my breath away.

Its also coming up to the 3rd anniversary of my mums death, and I keep dreaming of what happened to her (she died from multi organ failure caused by septicaemia) and hence I'm not sleeping.

And then, just now, I get a call from someone I used to know at college. He tells me my friend Mark is now in St George's Hopsital after collapsing with a brain hemorhage, and its not looking good for him

How much more bad **** is going to happen? Is someone/something trying to make me crack up? Cos I'm damn close.

Mandy

[__OpenGL__]

/__OpenGL__ sends love and hugs to toptotty.

Im sure things will get better, I think everything always seems to happen at once? :confused: :rolleyes:

[WhiteKnight]

Well they do say things come in 3s... maybe things will cheer up now ?

[Kaution]

:( sounds really bad, i know i wouldnt be able to cope - i think im abit younger at age 17 and my grandma died out the blue from a heart attack recently, took me by suprise and first funeral i went to :\ made me numb and dumb for atleast 2 or so weeks..

Hope ur friend does recover, sorry to hear about your bad news :\ really sucky, and im sure having to deal with all the aftermath is really taking it out of u, i know it did when my grandma died and my dad had to deal with absolutely everything (and there is ALOT to deal with -being witness to it)

im sure everyone will agree life sucks 90% of the time sometimes its just alot worse for a period :\

i dont think theres much to console someone at a time like this but, hope u get through it all and be as strong as possible.

[Switch`]

Mandy, Alton Towers, see you there, Smiles and Hugs.

[Rmage]

You have my sincere condolences.

Hugs and bestwishes

Matt

[Zenith]

Mandy, I know something of how you feel.
My Nan died on the Friday of i23 a few weeks after having a bad Stroke (ICH). From what Mum said, your reaction is typical because she said that there were times when she wanted to cry but her eyes were dry. Nan's sister (my great-aunt) died in June of almost exactly the same thing.

Now LadyU's dad passed away last Friday after a period of illness. If you're a regular of these forums, you'll know what I'm talking about (to help others out, make sure you sponsor pos in her race in this thread (http://forums.multiplay.co.uk/showthread.php?s=&threadid=35381)). LadyU and her brother are in no fit state to do anything atm, so I've been the one taking care of the arrangements (registering the death, setting up the funeral with the undertakers etc). There was no will and no property so probate won't be too much of an issue, but it will still probably be me sorting the details out. At least I've got one step of detachment from all of this, but I tell you that this last week has been one of the most draining times I think I have ever been through.

To think that your executing of the will as well as coming to terms with your bereavement is nothing short of astounding. You've definitely got a strength to your character, because I'm not sure that I could do the same if I was in your position. Just make sure that you have your friends and loved ones nearby because they are a help. They may not realise it, but just being there for you and with you can make all the difference.

:smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove
:smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht:
:smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove :smileht: :smilelove

I've got a bag FULL of hugs and wub for you. Take as many as you feel you want or need.
Don't worry about how much. There is an endless supply, enough for everyone. :D

[her0n]

All I can say is I am SO proud of you Mandy. Stay strong for the sake of yourself, your bro and also Dave. As WK said, bad things come in threes so perhaps things will start to look up..

:hearts:

[AcidIce]

yeah hang in there girl, we all love you to bits!

[lyn]

I agree with what WK sayes as well
Keep strong and i'm sure Dave will support you and be there for you.
I'm also sure that your dad and your mum would be very proud of you, the way you are coping with it all

:angel2:

[LozB]

my condolences..

take a deep breath, pause and remember you have a very supportive group of friends on here.

[CyberDrac]

You have a group of friends here who would collective do anything for you, don't think that you have to do this all alone.

CD

[pos]

Exactly, we are all here for you, even though its on the other end of the internet. We can listen and offer advice, and just let you know that were thinking about you.
The fact that your still functioning as a normal human being means you have strength beyond anything I could ever imagine.
It's difficult to deal with things that happen like this, and there are feelings that wont go away for a long time, but you'll get there. You've got Dave, and all of us, and if you ever need a break, our house is always open... including the one we will have in Arizona - just get cheap flight out ;)
As lyn said they'd be proud of you, and so are we, so be PROUD of yourself! because your doing a wonderful thing by struggling on.
I wish we were going to AT, so i could offer better advice along with cuddles and blue cocktails, but alas we wont be. If you ever want/need me, just track me down, call me, pm whatever. You're not alone, and you never will be

[Afty]

Originally posted by Toptotty
How much more bad **** is going to happen? Is someone/something trying to make me crack up? Cos I'm damn close. Don't crack up - find a good friend to talk to and pour it all out.

I had a similar episode about 18 months ago where I lost a grandmother I was really close to (lived with her as a child) just before Xmas, then while on holiday one of my closest friends who lived with me died suddenly, and I returned to find my other grandmother with a few days to live - both funerals at the same place within 48 hours. Finally, to top it off my Aunt died of Lung Cancer a little while later, after I had passed up the opportunity to go visit her. Boy did I feel bad about that .

It threw me into a funk which, if I'm honest, I haven't completely got out of yet but luckily my friends and family were around to talk to if I needed it. I'm one of those "dumb as a box of rocks" kind of guys so I didn't get stuff off my chest until THIS YEAR, but just knowing they were aroun was a big help. Never forget your friends are still here, we love you, and will be around if you need us.

[Toptotty]

Thanks all, just felt like I had to pour it out somewhere. Dave is being great, and so is my best mate Emma, but I just feel at the moment that if I talk to someone about it I'll just break down and not bounce back.

Been to the hospital to see my friend today and the outlook isn't great :( He had an aneyursm (sp?) in his brain and wasn't found for a few hours after it happened. He's improved very slightly - apparently if he'd got any worse they'd have switched off his life support - but they have to operate this afternoon to put some kind of coil in his brain to stop the bleeding. I think he could hear me when I was talking to him cos he occasionally squeezed my hand, especially when I told him the nurses were fit and I'd ask them to give him a bedbath. I'll know later tonight if he's pulled through the op.

I met his fiancee for the first time, she'd rushed up from near Cardiff last night and hasn't slept. She was talking to him about their wedding plans etc, and it made me realise how lucky I am I guess, if lucky is the right phrase.

[Gifted]

wow majorly bad week for you.. hope it ets better..

everyone says they know how it feels but the truth is... its different for all of us. My mum died when i was only baout 8 years old and it really messed me up for a very long time. but my sister who is 4 years older delt with it really well... just got on with it! BUT recently for some reason (she been having a few bad problems) she has been reflecting on it and it has really messed her up. All you can do is stick around with those loved ones you have left.. if it wasnt for my dad it would have been loads harder! cant imagine what it must have been like for him.

life sucks sometimes eh!

[Murray-Mint]

We're all here for you Mandy, anytime you need anything. You were so great to me after my Dad died (Multiple organ failure caused by Septasemia (spelling?)).

Things can only get better from here. Please let us know how Mark gets on with the operation.

http://www.link4u.com/k1/kittyb.jpg

[Toptotty]

Update:

Mark has just come out of theatre, and the operation has apparently gone ok. The next 24-48 hours are touch and go, and then they'll take him off the critical list hopefully.

[LadyU]

hugs...

I was going to make this a post about how you aren't alone with something like this but it came out wrong and sounded condecending so I'll keep it simple and just say if you ever want someone to blow off about it all to I'll be around...

[Bad-Co]

Originally posted by Toptotty
Ok, so my dad died just under 3 weeks ago of an out of the blue heart attack, no warning nothing, just boom and he's gone.

I'm struggling to cope with this, and haven't yet been able to return to work due to being the executor of the will and having so much **** to sort out. Plus my brain is like a sieve at the mo, keep forgetting stuff etc. I can't cry, it's like somethings stopping me, but sometimes it hurts so much it takes my breath away.

Its also coming up to the 3rd anniversary of my mums death, and I keep dreaming of what happened to her (she died from multi organ failure caused by septicaemia) and hence I'm not sleeping.

And then, just now, I get a call from someone I used to know at college. He tells me my friend Mark is now in St George's Hopsital after collapsing with a brain hemorhage, and its not looking good for him

How much more bad **** is going to happen? Is someone/something trying to make me crack up? Cos I'm damn close.

Mandy


Mandy, I know exactly how you feel

I lost my dad 4 weeks ago, heart failure out of the blue. No warning, no symptoms. He was 59 which is no age to die.

Unlike you my mother is still with us, but she's the one who's life collapsed around her. Leaving me and my sister to deal with the formalities of death.

My brain is also like a sieve, everything is just blurry. The initial shock made me cry, but the auto pilot of having to sort things out has stopped the grieving.
I'm more agressive to work colleages at the moment because of this.

This is the third death for me in as many years, after lsoing 2 close friends to either accidents or cancer.
Its not getting easier.

I'd like to say I'm sorry for you loss, but I know thats not good enough. It just doesn't fix things. Cuddles and hugs help from loved ones, but all I ever want is 5 more minutes with my dad.


Knowing the person you are, I know you can fiight through this.
All I can finish on, is I understand and hang in there.

Dan