Elbonio
12th July 2004, 10:14
Got this in an e-mail:
Two Irish men walk into a pet shop. Right away they go over to the bird section. Gerry says to Paddy, “Dat’s dem.” The clerk comes over and asks if he can help them. “Yeah, we’ll take four of dem dere budgies in dat cage op dere”, says Gerry. “Put dem in a peeper bag”. The clerk does and the two guys pay for the birds and leave the shop. They get into Gerry’s van and drive until they are high up in the hills and stop at the top of a cliff with a 500-foot drop. “Dis looks loike a grand place, eh?” says Gerry. He then takes two birds out of the bag, places them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff. Paddy watches as his mate drops off the edge and goes straight down for a few seconds, followed by a ‘SPLAT’. As Paddy looks over the edge of the cliff, he shakes his head and says, “Fock dat, dis budgie jumpin’ is too fockin’ dangerous for me!”
A minute later, Seamus arrives. He, too, has been to the pet shop and he walks up carrying the familiar ‘peeper bag’. He pulls a parrot out of the bag, and then Paddy notices that, in his other hand, Seamus is carrying a gun. “Hi, Paddy. Watch dis”, Seamus says and launches himself over the edge of the cliff. Paddy watches as, halfway down, Seamus takes the gun and blows the parrot’s head off. Seamus continues to plummet until there is a SPLAT, as he joins Gerry’s remains at the bottom.
Paddy shakes his head and says, “An’ oim never troyin’ dat
parrotshooting nider”.
A few minutes after Seamus splats himself, Sean strolls up. He too has been to the pet shop and he walks up carrying a familiar ‘peeper’ bag.But instead of a parrot, he pulls a chicken out of the bag, and launches himself over the cliff, with the usual result. Once more, Paddy shakes his head. “Fock me Sean, first der was Gerry wit his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting, and now you, fockin’hen gliding”.
and i also wrote this poem about mondays. just because i didnt want to do any work...
Oh yay, oh joy, its Monday,
What a jolly day to be!
You know it’s the most fun-day
Of the entire working week
Mondays bring a joyous cheer,
So very giddy am I,
When I drag myself out of bed
And I don my shirt and tie
Who wants it to be weekend?
All that relaxation!
It’ll make you fat, it’ll make you idle
And will give you constipation!
in case you cant tell, i'm being sarcastic
if they abolished mondays, it would be fantastic
And so to bring conclusion
To this little ditty
All I can say about Mondays
Is they’re really rather shi… rubbish.
Two Irish men walk into a pet shop. Right away they go over to the bird section. Gerry says to Paddy, “Dat’s dem.” The clerk comes over and asks if he can help them. “Yeah, we’ll take four of dem dere budgies in dat cage op dere”, says Gerry. “Put dem in a peeper bag”. The clerk does and the two guys pay for the birds and leave the shop. They get into Gerry’s van and drive until they are high up in the hills and stop at the top of a cliff with a 500-foot drop. “Dis looks loike a grand place, eh?” says Gerry. He then takes two birds out of the bag, places them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff. Paddy watches as his mate drops off the edge and goes straight down for a few seconds, followed by a ‘SPLAT’. As Paddy looks over the edge of the cliff, he shakes his head and says, “Fock dat, dis budgie jumpin’ is too fockin’ dangerous for me!”
A minute later, Seamus arrives. He, too, has been to the pet shop and he walks up carrying the familiar ‘peeper bag’. He pulls a parrot out of the bag, and then Paddy notices that, in his other hand, Seamus is carrying a gun. “Hi, Paddy. Watch dis”, Seamus says and launches himself over the edge of the cliff. Paddy watches as, halfway down, Seamus takes the gun and blows the parrot’s head off. Seamus continues to plummet until there is a SPLAT, as he joins Gerry’s remains at the bottom.
Paddy shakes his head and says, “An’ oim never troyin’ dat
parrotshooting nider”.
A few minutes after Seamus splats himself, Sean strolls up. He too has been to the pet shop and he walks up carrying a familiar ‘peeper’ bag.But instead of a parrot, he pulls a chicken out of the bag, and launches himself over the cliff, with the usual result. Once more, Paddy shakes his head. “Fock me Sean, first der was Gerry wit his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting, and now you, fockin’hen gliding”.
and i also wrote this poem about mondays. just because i didnt want to do any work...
Oh yay, oh joy, its Monday,
What a jolly day to be!
You know it’s the most fun-day
Of the entire working week
Mondays bring a joyous cheer,
So very giddy am I,
When I drag myself out of bed
And I don my shirt and tie
Who wants it to be weekend?
All that relaxation!
It’ll make you fat, it’ll make you idle
And will give you constipation!
in case you cant tell, i'm being sarcastic
if they abolished mondays, it would be fantastic
And so to bring conclusion
To this little ditty
All I can say about Mondays
Is they’re really rather shi… rubbish.