I am all powerful and all knowing

[Elbonio]

At work i am basically *it* for anyone who "knows about computers"

if someones got a problem go and ask Mark he "knows about computers"


usually this is stuff like finding lost toolbars, ading contacts in outlook, attaching files to e-mails - that sort of high-level, demanding stuff


however today someone managed to get his finger stuck in the floppy disk drive.

there's one i've never had before... "he's got his finger stuck in the floppy drive.. go and get Mark.."

this guy is like 40 odd, and he's stood there with his finger in the floppy drive like a nonce...

what do they expect me to do? Apparently i am wise in the workings on these infernal machines and know a secret way to release unsuspecting victims from their metallic grasp...


:rolleyes:

[Cheez]

Cut his finger off, teach him a valuable lesson.

[Gunsmith]

LMFAO!!!!!1oneone

XD

[Elbonio]

the people who i work with print off e-mails to read them....


that's the kind of level we're talking about here...

[Gifted]

Elbonio... my work is exactly the same!!

its true... i get the toolbars and the outlook and the attachments...


and for some reason now its been 2 years.... i am now considered god not only of computers.. but ~ANYTHING witha fecking plug or battery in..


jane the receptionist brings in her broken tv and said... FIX THAT!! i told here that its not a computer so feck off... another guy goes and buys a phone.. not a nokia or anything.. some phone i never seen.. he comes up to me and asks... 'How do you work this then.. how do you confrence call'!?

How the feck do i know...


and the funny thing is when i say i dont know i never seen one before.. the looks of unbelief are amazing.


as far as computers are concerned though.. the best is the managing director who said that his computer wasnt working.. and the monitor light was flashing orange but he had no picture.... he haddnt even turned the base unit on!

[Afty]

In that situation you need to do one of two things:

1] Stop helping people by playing dumb on every problem (if you stop managing to fix things, people will think you can't..)
2] Ask for a raise because you've earned it

[Freelance]

This is why i try to keep my computer qualification/experience under my belt, and haven't applied for a computer support job. i get enough of it from my dad

[Gifted]

Originally posted by afty

2] Ask for a raise because you've earned it [/B]

done this twice... and got a nice raise each time..

becuase they now rely on me so much for all the computers, inc. running all the accounts system and everything they cant afford to lose me. im the only one thats knows the setup . i designed it all.


and come to think of it the last time i had a really good moan they gave me a 3 grand bonus in the next months pay package. :D

[Elbonio]

its the civil service. they dont do "raises"...

they barely pay us as it is

[HalOS]

Charity is pretty much the same

/me sobs

[Cheez]

Same in education. :)

methinks we work in the wrong sectors.

[Zakalwe]

Don't be silly, you all get paid with tiny pieces of moral soil. After long enough working there you can pile it up into a hill and then firmly occupy the moral high ground.

Enjoy :)

[10acious]

http://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2004/20040507l.gif

[Elbonio]

to add an ironic pinch of salt to the wound

the civil service deem any computer game website innappropriate, thus has flitered that penny arcade cartoon

[Gifted]

lmao.... one advantage of being it manager and thus not having my pc logged / crippled in any way! :D

[Aardvark]

I have it worse. One of the company directors THINKS he knows what he's doing.

As a result the office network is a total bloody shambles, and the fileserver doesn't have so much as a fag paper between it and the nasty unclean internet.

Merely another reason for hating my job, knowing I could do better with both hands behind my back and 2 hot pokers stuck in my eyes.

[dcoder]

i get a 60 min quota per day for MPUK forums...

[Elbonio]

luckily they havent filtered the forums


if they did i'd quit.


no. seriously. i would.

[Mingtea]

Originally posted by afty

2] Ask for a raise because you've earned it

What are these raises you speak of and where do I get them?

[Aardvark]

This is why I seriously want to work for afty. An employer who has the word 'raise' in their vocabulary is a rare fish indeed... :)

[Afty]

Technically, I'm not an employer until I employ someone other than myself :)

[Elbonio]

do you give yourself 10p raises just for the thrill?

[Steadders]

Originally posted by Elbonio
luckily they havent filtered the forums


if they did i'd quit.


no. seriously. i would.

hehe, aww

[splitsecond]

at the last place i worked that had a network the guy running it was given a whole pile of money to get half decent pcs, he found a place that sold top of the range pcs for the price he was looking at or the same spec at half price, so natually he went else where. he also put one of the strickest set of restrictions on i have ever seen, barly anything could be used, only things that a computer illiterate person could use to screw up the pc wer allowed to be used and any words that could concieveably be connected in any way to something not related to work was filtered. also pcs would shutdown after 30 mins even if they were in constant use and couldnt be turned on unless you entered the password. thankfully he was stupid enough to use his name for every password. i suspect his only experiance with electronic equipment before working there was turning on a kettle.
nuturally as with all my jobs i was expected to pick up the slack and fix any problems all because i like physics. i hear its worse for people who actually do show an interest in computing.

[RocketKnight]

Originally posted by Elbonio
the people who i work with print off e-mails to read them....


that's the kind of level we're talking about here...
I know how you feel. I (unfortunately) became the "go-to-guy" in our business studies department at A Level because the IT guys sucked. I used to get violent and throw chairs when I'd find someone had printed a 250 page PDF document, taken out the relevant page 145 from the pile and left the other 249 pages as waste. The excuse? One of two usually:

"I didn't know you could print individual pages."

or

"Adobe has a search function? What you mean like Word?"

:mad:

[Cabe]

I left they wouldnt give me the raise.

Incedenatlly I have received 15 voice mail messages from my previous company regarding computer quieres, you would have thought they would have gotten the message after 3 or 4 wouldnt you.

They clearly havnt gotten anyone else in with competance.

[Rich]

Originally posted by Elbonio
the people who i work with print off e-mails to read them....


that's the kind of level we're talking about here...


pmsrofl.

[jugster]

I inserted Ginga into a floppy drive yesterday... All I could think about was FORMAT A:

;)

[Mouce]

I'm lucky in this case, the fact that we have a technician to look after all of the crap that I'm not willing to do, i.e. go see why it doesn't print... But, I normally have my hands full aswell, setting up unix boxes and other network equipment is sometimes quite difficult :)

[Shazz]

All i can say after working for Renishaw for a week is...

There Network is Ace

BUT

Half of there computers are still feking pentium 200's!

For f***s sake!

[KingDaveRa]

People keep coming to me with problems at work. Its crazy.

Do I look like I work in the IT department?!

Oh wait.

[no friends]

I dont work, but i get it in school from the sixth formers who look after the computers at lunch, and also friends ring me up at home! also my family is the mosst un-computer literate you'll ever see! - my mother still asks how to copy and paste!

[pen]

Annoying when members of your family hand your number out to their friends with pc issues.
Guess its the same with any "trade"

[Afty]

Originally posted by Cabe
Incedenatlly I have received 15 voice mail messages from my previous company regarding computer quieres, you would have thought they would have gotten the message after 3 or 4 wouldnt you. Phone them back, your hourly rate is £x with a min. 1 hour, plus a call out fee of £y. I'd suggest starting at £75 and £20 and let them negotiate you down a little on the hourly.

It's what I'd do anyway...

[MaddyPaulus]

i get my mates getting 'their mates' (who i don't know) phoning me and asking me if i'll reinstall windows for them as their PC 'seems slow these days'.

When I agree to do it (for a small fee), i find a nice new £150 boxed copy of WinXP HOme sitting there next to their 18 year old DX2-66 + 32Mb RAM + 350Mb HDD.

I LOVE the look of disappointment on their face when I explain that it's not possible without spending a few £££.

This is usually followed by them saying 'But, I was told that you would be able to do it'.


As long as people like that exist, there's work for me :D

[WhiteKnight]

People like that are the reason we should take warning lables off all dangerous products.

Let natural selection do its job... thats what i say.

"Caution: Do not use this hairdrier in the shower."

[Elbonio]

but i need to dry my hair straight away or else it just frizzes... :(

[Groodles]

Originally posted by Shazz
All i can say after working for Renishaw for a week is...

There Network is Ace

BUT

Half of there computers are still feking pentium 200's!

For f***s sake!

Renishaw Machine Measurement Systems? Gloucester?

PM me the personel manager name please, I'd kill for a job there it's one of the most oragnised manufacturing sites I've ever seen.

Oh that and the woman/man ration appears to be like 5 to 1. ;)

[Groodles]

On the subject of salaries and the infamous "rise" in salary that seems to elude so many people.

If your manager is so weak (and crap at his job) to allow you to take on so much that you've technically made yourself indispensible (see footnote on this point) then they deserve to get shafted should they make the wrong decision with regards to salary discussions.

The simple truth is, you don't get what you want, you get what you negociate. If they are not willing to negociate then find work elsewhere.

Note: While I used the word "indispensible" you should NEVER use this word to describe yourself to a superior. No-one is indispensible, everyone can be replaced. It boils down to the risk associated with, and lost time/money/resource in getting some unknown in to replace you.

(Better the devil you know is often the case)

[splitsecond]

well the problem with these senarios is none of you will ever get premoted, its always the most useless that get them, due to it being cheaper then sacking them.

also the trick to getting a raise is to show your boss you know everything about computers, its easily to do, you just need to know a little bit more then him and some jargon, next you ask for a small pay rise, best to do near a holiday period, then aftwer a few months do it again.

the reason why, in many work places they get a staff member to fill as tech support without making it official is its cheaper en getting both, but what most don't realise is that they put the staff memvber in a position where he can only do the tech support role and the original job is left vacant.

[Shazz]

Originally posted by Groodles
Renishaw Machine Measurement Systems? Gloucester?

PM me the personel manager name please, I'd kill for a job there it's one of the most oragnised manufacturing sites I've ever seen.

Oh that and the woman/man ration appears to be like 5 to 1. ;)
That ration sounds about right, and i can pm you the name later :x , and its not Gloucester, Its Gloucestershire ;) , the main HQ is just down teh road from me :x

[Afty]

Originally posted by splitsecond
its always the most useless that get them, due to it being cheaper then sacking them. What? That's very rare indeed...
Originally posted by splitsecond
also the trick to getting a raise is to show your boss you know everything about computers, its easily to do, you just need to know a little bit more then him and some jargon, next you ask for a small pay rise, best to do near a holiday period, then aftwer a few months do it again.Eh? "everything" about computers? You sound like a 6 year old. There are a hundred better arguments for a raise than how much you know about computers.
Originally posted by splitsecond
places they get a staff member to fill as tech support ... don't realise is that they put the staff memvber in a position where he can only do the tech support role and the original job is left vacant. Now that is correct. Or at least partially - the original role is not vacant but is filled by someone who is now overworked so unable to properly perform the old job, and is also demoralised because of an increase in responsibility without an increase in pay. Eventually, when that person inevitably leaves, they lose someone who was filling both roles and as they have come to rely on having someone for IT support need to hire two people to replace him.
The proper course of action in a company too small to have a business case for a full time IT support technician is to outsource the function to an IT company.

[Aardvark]

Originally posted by afty
Eventually, when that person inevitably leaves, they lose someone who was filling both roles and as they have come to rely on having someone for IT support need to hire two people to replace him.
The proper course of action in a company too small to have a business case for a full time IT support technician is to outsource the function to an IT company.

Thats exactly what happened where I work. Now we have a bloke who by his own admission knows slightly more than **** all about computers doing the job, with the result he asks me what to do all the time so we BOTH lose time on our main role.

That and the aforementioned director thinking he can do absolutely EVERYTHING required to fix a machine remotely.