FRIENDLY: Tue 27th 8pm Vs Certamen

[HEAD-d^_^b]

The enemy: Certamen
Maps: El Alamein/Stalinggrad
Info: 10v10
Server: MPUK Clanserver
Time: 20:00GMT

Sign up here.

[thory]

Mmmmm, two of my favourite maps :/

Gwan then, only 'cause I'm great.

** EDIT **

Ignore my previous edit. I am in.

[Drifting]

Indeedy

[JeRkY]

i dont like these people

so thats a yes, i suggest you all bind a key to mute my ranting on comms though.

[thory]

lol :)

Jerky and his innate hatred of =fpf= rears its ugly head again ;)

Don't worry Jerky, we will hurt them :)

[Weps]

in:)

[Silk75]

In far in

EDIT: Cannot play now as having dinner with the parents

[TheGuyver]

Yup can do ( does do look like no nj? if so ill edit )

[Baroni]

I have to bloddy work in Northampton that night!!

[AcidUK]

Avail

[Lancer]

Im avail

[AlexMac]

fwaid not

[thory]

Results:

El Alamein
Axis: 138-0 Win (http://www.atdot.at/bf1942/27-01-04/ElAlamein1.jpg)
Axis: 68-71 Loss (http://www.atdot.at/bf1942/27-01-04/ElAlamein2.jpg)

Stalingrad
Allies: 0-64 Loss (http://www.atdot.at/bf1942/27-01-04/Stalingrad1.jpg)
Axis: 0-71 Loss (http://www.atdot.at/bf1942/27-01-04/Stalingrad2.jpg)

Squad:
AcidUK
Deman
Drifting
HEAD
imcrap
JeRKy
Lancer
tH0Ry
Weps

AAR:

El Alamein

Axis

[MPUK] took to the sands of El Alamein, all clearly with RSI due to the previous nights activities in the MPUKL. Our pilots looked somewhat bemused at the sight of their BF109s, clearly in shock that their glorious clanleader had given them the task of actually flying planes as apposed to throwing a multitude of grendes. This shock, however, did not seem to affect them too much as they pretty much immediately gained full air superiority and made quick caps on 2 flags. Deman and Weps managed to take a good hold on their flag with little resistance. Certamen sent all their tank forces in 1 direction and proceded to mutilate our ground units. -DtM- was proving to be a hard opponent in the air, but HEAD, Lancer and imcrap all managed to keep their main fly boy down. Despite resistance, [MPUK] proceded to grab a great sneaky cap, but undeterred by extreme pummelling by all of their planes, Deman (http://bf1942.atdot.at/27-01-04/Deman.jpg) managed to hold it in his battered Panzer (akin to a vehicle driven by Freelancer) and we managed to keep a solid bleed on their tickets. Meanwhile, a sneaky sneaky engineer managed to creep up on tH0Ry elsewhere, mined his Tiger and before we knew it, Certamen suddenly had a contest on all three flags. We managed to recap 1 with a mass of tanks but the round ended on a fairly drab note with HEAD polishing off the remainder of their airforce for a 138-0 [MPUK] win with 0:05 left on the clock.

Allies

With our pilots suitably freshed up in their planes, we switched to Allies with higher spirits. Maybe El Al isnt such a bad map, methinks. Or maybe it is just b*llocks. Anyway, again we made our initial push, which went all to plan. The first flag was contested heavily by both [MPUK] and Certamen. The allied [MPUK] tankforce eventually capped, due to exceptional support from the air. All was looking well, until Deman (http://bf1942.atdot.at/27-01-04/Deman.jpg) saw a lone Certamen player. Instead of shooting him like a real man, he decided to dive and penguin slide from the top of the hill. This left Lancer to gracefully glide into the corso of the unlucky Certamen player at 190mph, slicing his body in half. In the mean time, Certamen had capped another flag, and moved a trio of tanks towards the East. Certamen flew to the flag on mass, supporting their tanks, and were able to cap, despite notable resistance by AcidUK and Drifting in a Shermans. Everything was looking somewhat bleak at this point, until Njoroge decided to (against everyone's better judgement) get in the B-17 and obliterate the hapless Certamen forces at the flag. This left the [MPUK] tank brigade to push in and recap. No team really had much of a bleed for very long, -DtM- was proving to be a much harder target in a BF109, preventing HEAD, Lancer and imcrap re-asserting their air dominance. Certamen held out for 71-68 victory when the clock had run down.

Stalingrad

Allies

Please. No. More. It. REALLY. Hurts. With the grenades of *that* game last night still ringing in our ears, we decided that we clearly havent had enough punishment on this map. Theres not really that much to say, apart from that it hurts. Grenades are just very very bad. I say we throw chickens at each other instead. Honestly, though I could babble on about how tactical this map wasn't, and how much fun it wasnt and how much I REALLY DONT WANT ANYMORE NADES. I won't though. I shall just say that this was a wonderful display of tactical mastery by both sides, with lots of high quality play at all times. And just a smidgeon of complete spamming of nades. Only a small amount mind. So, to recap. Certamen cap north. [MPUK] cap south. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Certamen cap middle. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. [MPUK] contest middle. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Certamen cap middle. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Round ends. [MPUK] cap north. Cetamen cap south. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. [MPUK] contest middle. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Certamen cap middle. Spam. Spam. Spam. Round ends. Or something like that. 64-0 to Certamen with 5:28 left.

Axis

Oh sweet Jesus. I am losing all will to life. I want to eat my own face. No. More. This time, I felt we might have stood a chance, albeit attempt number #763549825 on trying to get it right. We actually managed to cap the middle. For those who have played this map, there is actually a flag in the middle but you may not have seen it for the constant explosion of stielhandgranate. HEAD, in an unusual tanking role, provided additional spammage to the fray, but Certamen liked putting their big shiny russian tanks in the middle and capping flags. Weps, however, provided the tactical masterstroke to deal with this. How he thought of it, I do not know. He did however, repeat doing it for about 10 minutes. It might have had something to do with grenades, but it is still a mystery to me. In a twist of fate however, [MPUK] capped middle (the how eludes me) and Certamen managed to cap the north flag, leading to mass [MPUK] spawns in the middle. I'm spawning middle, were the cries. Silly sods. Especially Deman (http://bf1942.atdot.at/27-01-04/Deman.jpg) . He decided to attempt to cap the rear flag, but our mercurial clan leader decided to do better. Once again, the evils of grenades were highlighted. A gleaming stick of joy left the hands of Njoroge, only to land at the feet of the unsuspecting Deman (http://bf1942.atdot.at/27-01-04/Deman.jpg) , exploding on impact. Round over. 71-0 to Certamen, 5:49 left.

Summary:

Now, if the scores were a little less close, I would probably brush away the fact that Njoroge teamkilled Deman (http://bf1942.atdot.at/27-01-04/Deman.jpg) at the end. But, the scores were 206-206. So.....

It is all Njoroge's fault

At epic, behemothic, cyclopean, gargantuan, gigantic, mammoth, enormous, monstrous, mountainous, super, jumbo, titanic, giant, elephantine, mungo, immense, biblic, humongous and vast proportions.

Medals

Extra Tank Shells for HEAD for a great Axis Stalingrad performance in a tank. You spaff good.
A Course in RSI Prevention for Weps, purely because I feel sorry for the lad. You also spaff good.
A new gun and 10cc's of skills for Deman (http://bf1942.atdot.at/27-01-04/Deman.jpg) so that he stops getting knifed. You spaff bad.

gg wp all thx

tH0Ry

[Njoroge]

lol - all lies tbh

[JeRkY]

very nice report,although i think the stalingrad allies section needs editing to hide our tactics...

[thory]

Noted. I really do not know how we will cope now that our Stalingrad tactics are in the public domain :)

[Drifting]

TBH I think it's Jerkys fault for jumping out of the thrid floor window, tricking poor old me to follow suit and hold his hand...

[JeRkY]

lies drifting, you clearly pushed me to my death, then in a moment of extreme guilt you commited suicide.

[Njoroge]

<JeRkY> i think i may have had a part toplay in not getting the win last night tbh, i mixed up the 1st and 2nd floor windows at the north spawn, and also i suspect caused drifting to do the same as he impacted on the ground a split second after i did

I think JeRkY has already admitted