Tyler
16th January 2004, 14:47
Harlequins vs FTA: Match Report by D3m0n.
Kharkov >shoutcast< (http://anthony.knapp1.users.btopenworld.com/FTAvHARLYkhakov.mp3)
Bulge >shoutcast< (http://anthony.knapp1.users.btopenworld.com/FTAvHARLYbulge.mp3)
Ahhhh |FTA| Clan....
The banter, the friendly rivalry...tonight was crunch time. I would be lying if i said the Harlequins were not remotely concerned with this match, especially given |FTA|'s stunning performance against PR^ in the MPUK League. Nails were bitten, nerves were shattered and Krak3n was bullied because he owns several boats and a small island! We promised them a game some time after Christmas and even though we were MANY points above them we put out the challenge and |FTA| agreed. So it was set. {Harlequins} v |FTA| game THREE. 2-0 to the Queens so far...could we make it 3 ? It's the magic number isnt it ?!?!?!?!
Round 1: Kharkov: Axis
Harlequins: 143 FTA: 0
And so it began. The Harlequins lined up as Axis and the normal warmup routine begun. Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" blared out over TS while all Harlequins ran around shooting anything that moved and getting over excited. Top warmup! The game began and The Harlequins dropped their lipstick, dildos and handbags and ran into action. Back flag was secured...then the hill..then shortly after we had their Back flag greyed out. Things were looking good. Some VERY good assault strikes from |FTA| on the centre had our hill team knocked back but we co-ordinated a strike and pushed them out. There was a lot of greying of forward and back flags but the hill was generally held. FC called "Fandango" and the raping began. I could swear I saw |FTA| spawn at there HQ Hanger...run out, lube up and bend over for the incoming Wespe rape that was about to commence. I had a few beers so....maybe not. We kept them pushed back and pinned in and there was no real way back for them.
Round 1: Kharkov: Allied
Harlequins: 78 FTA: 19
Good start so far. Now we really needed to seal this one up before 'Battle of the Bulge' to get a good advantage. We went out to pwn them but unfortunatly for us, |FTA| had other ideas! Again the opening minutes were hotly contested up and down Kharkov with flags being greyed and no real breakthrough being made from either team. Then a lapse in concentration saw the sneeky |FTA| badger jizz sneak in all over the map and grey us out entirely. |FTA| held 2 flags with 1 white so we had to spawn HQ and regroup. This could have gone so horribly wrong but we made a SERIOUS push on all flags simultaniuosly and forced them to conceded a flag. {Harlequins}Elvis went into (- Handbag / +Rambo) mode, donned his bandanna and went charging up the hill screaming "die you mofo's die".....I was only 15 secs or so behind him to support but by the time I got there...all I could see were the bloody remains of at least 6 to 7 |FTA| assaults scattered around the hill. I gave Elvis his medication and all was well again but some l33t assaulting from him gave us back the hill when everything about it said "NO CHANCE". Played m8. We then finally managed all 3 flags and the serious bleed and rapage began. Scary moments on this for us and great resilience shown from |FTA| clan.
Round 1: Battle of the Bulge: Axis
Harlequins: 112 FTA: 0
Well to say we've been training hard on this map would be the understatment of the century. We knew what |FTA| could be cappable of here and certainly had no ideas of slacking off or pulling our punches. So it began....Our opening moves obliterated the |FTA| defence and within 5 minutes all flags, bar one belonged to the Harlequins. The final push was made and I think within 6 minutes all |FTA| were wiped out. I think |FTA| must have been seriously shocked by that perfomance but it was a great co-ordinated strike by the Queens to dominate this round and win convincingly.
Round 2: Battle of the Bulge: Allied
Harlequins: 89 FTA: 26
We were slightly nervous about our defence for this one but as some mug once said, who's name escapes me at 3:19am..."We had a cunning plan!!!". Our strategy worked perfectly and for the most part we left |FTA| with 1 flag sometimes 2. This lasted up until the final 4 mins which saw a mass |FTA| push which finally broke the back of our defence. They moved in and moped up the flags but could not find the 2 remaining 'quins who were in a bush comparing 'hair dye' tips. We managed to scrape back the windmill and hold out for the last remaining minutes and deny them a shut out like the whores we are! Well played to the bush monkeys for keeping us alive and getting back the windmill
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
TOTAL SCORE: {Harlequins} 422 - 45 |FTA|
Well it was a fantastic game and despite the pisstaking and bantering with |FTA| clan we certainly have a healthy respect for thier skillz all over the park. They played well and fought hard....top stuff. Special notice to {Harlequins} Elvis who's amazing display of assaulting had me ****ting a brick...and im on his team Elvis clearly HAS NOT left the building !!!
Well played all.
Awards from Tyler:
Elvis for Best Male Performance: For being a l33t badass rambo mofo and singlehandedly wiping out multiple infantry and a tank in the space of 20 seconds and taking back Kharkov Hill.
Elvis for Best Action Scene: we should rename him to Sylvester.
Rostig for Best Special Effects: For doing a superb job holding the South Bridge on Bulge.
Ghost for Best Blooper: For managing to get a lower score than the Shoutcaster while contesting a flag
Kharkov >shoutcast< (http://anthony.knapp1.users.btopenworld.com/FTAvHARLYkhakov.mp3)
Bulge >shoutcast< (http://anthony.knapp1.users.btopenworld.com/FTAvHARLYbulge.mp3)
Ahhhh |FTA| Clan....
The banter, the friendly rivalry...tonight was crunch time. I would be lying if i said the Harlequins were not remotely concerned with this match, especially given |FTA|'s stunning performance against PR^ in the MPUK League. Nails were bitten, nerves were shattered and Krak3n was bullied because he owns several boats and a small island! We promised them a game some time after Christmas and even though we were MANY points above them we put out the challenge and |FTA| agreed. So it was set. {Harlequins} v |FTA| game THREE. 2-0 to the Queens so far...could we make it 3 ? It's the magic number isnt it ?!?!?!?!
Round 1: Kharkov: Axis
Harlequins: 143 FTA: 0
And so it began. The Harlequins lined up as Axis and the normal warmup routine begun. Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" blared out over TS while all Harlequins ran around shooting anything that moved and getting over excited. Top warmup! The game began and The Harlequins dropped their lipstick, dildos and handbags and ran into action. Back flag was secured...then the hill..then shortly after we had their Back flag greyed out. Things were looking good. Some VERY good assault strikes from |FTA| on the centre had our hill team knocked back but we co-ordinated a strike and pushed them out. There was a lot of greying of forward and back flags but the hill was generally held. FC called "Fandango" and the raping began. I could swear I saw |FTA| spawn at there HQ Hanger...run out, lube up and bend over for the incoming Wespe rape that was about to commence. I had a few beers so....maybe not. We kept them pushed back and pinned in and there was no real way back for them.
Round 1: Kharkov: Allied
Harlequins: 78 FTA: 19
Good start so far. Now we really needed to seal this one up before 'Battle of the Bulge' to get a good advantage. We went out to pwn them but unfortunatly for us, |FTA| had other ideas! Again the opening minutes were hotly contested up and down Kharkov with flags being greyed and no real breakthrough being made from either team. Then a lapse in concentration saw the sneeky |FTA| badger jizz sneak in all over the map and grey us out entirely. |FTA| held 2 flags with 1 white so we had to spawn HQ and regroup. This could have gone so horribly wrong but we made a SERIOUS push on all flags simultaniuosly and forced them to conceded a flag. {Harlequins}Elvis went into (- Handbag / +Rambo) mode, donned his bandanna and went charging up the hill screaming "die you mofo's die".....I was only 15 secs or so behind him to support but by the time I got there...all I could see were the bloody remains of at least 6 to 7 |FTA| assaults scattered around the hill. I gave Elvis his medication and all was well again but some l33t assaulting from him gave us back the hill when everything about it said "NO CHANCE". Played m8. We then finally managed all 3 flags and the serious bleed and rapage began. Scary moments on this for us and great resilience shown from |FTA| clan.
Round 1: Battle of the Bulge: Axis
Harlequins: 112 FTA: 0
Well to say we've been training hard on this map would be the understatment of the century. We knew what |FTA| could be cappable of here and certainly had no ideas of slacking off or pulling our punches. So it began....Our opening moves obliterated the |FTA| defence and within 5 minutes all flags, bar one belonged to the Harlequins. The final push was made and I think within 6 minutes all |FTA| were wiped out. I think |FTA| must have been seriously shocked by that perfomance but it was a great co-ordinated strike by the Queens to dominate this round and win convincingly.
Round 2: Battle of the Bulge: Allied
Harlequins: 89 FTA: 26
We were slightly nervous about our defence for this one but as some mug once said, who's name escapes me at 3:19am..."We had a cunning plan!!!". Our strategy worked perfectly and for the most part we left |FTA| with 1 flag sometimes 2. This lasted up until the final 4 mins which saw a mass |FTA| push which finally broke the back of our defence. They moved in and moped up the flags but could not find the 2 remaining 'quins who were in a bush comparing 'hair dye' tips. We managed to scrape back the windmill and hold out for the last remaining minutes and deny them a shut out like the whores we are! Well played to the bush monkeys for keeping us alive and getting back the windmill
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
TOTAL SCORE: {Harlequins} 422 - 45 |FTA|
Well it was a fantastic game and despite the pisstaking and bantering with |FTA| clan we certainly have a healthy respect for thier skillz all over the park. They played well and fought hard....top stuff. Special notice to {Harlequins} Elvis who's amazing display of assaulting had me ****ting a brick...and im on his team Elvis clearly HAS NOT left the building !!!
Well played all.
Awards from Tyler:
Elvis for Best Male Performance: For being a l33t badass rambo mofo and singlehandedly wiping out multiple infantry and a tank in the space of 20 seconds and taking back Kharkov Hill.
Elvis for Best Action Scene: we should rename him to Sylvester.
Rostig for Best Special Effects: For doing a superb job holding the South Bridge on Bulge.
Ghost for Best Blooper: For managing to get a lower score than the Shoutcaster while contesting a flag