oGhOsTo
11th December 2003, 23:43
Harlequins vs rAs Match Report
Maps: 10vs10 - Kharkov, Kharkov
Prior to the match, we had litterally no idea of what we were up against. We'd done no research on our opponents, and nobody really didn't care if these guys turned out to be hardboiled gamer junkies or just another walk in the park. Nonetheless, spirits were high prior to match kickoff with impressions of Fat Bastard and some VERY disgusting reflections on the minimum age of sexual debutantes on Teamspeak...
Round 1 (Allied): Harlequins: 146 rAs: 0
So, the match started, and we got off to a rather shaky start with flags greyed out here and there sometimes for minutes. Most notorious was the battle for the hill which seemed to take more time than Pamela Anderson needs to get an orgasm. This skirmish peaked when the hill defense saw no less than 3 rAs tanks racing for the hill. A concentrated effort by tankers, planes and infantry repelled them, however, and the hill was secured.
With the hill in our hands we started digging in. Our valiant opponent, however, had different intentions than letting us fortify our positions. When everything looked firmly under control, the west flag grayed out, and from there on we struggled to get it back and keep it - with rAs even sending us counting down for a minute or so. Nonetheless, we were in overall control of the game, and bled rAs to death.
Special highlights during this round was when our fearless pilot Doom bailed into an axis tank and pleading on TS for people to hold their fire while he raced back with it. Sadly, Chili decided to send him packing with a wellplaced divebomb faster than you could press 'F6 F3'.
Round 2 (Axis): Harlequins: 158 rAs: 0
Onwards to axis, we got off to a spiffing start with yours truly (Ghost) baffling the entire match team with a triple lutz with flying axle and double camel spin upon take-off in the Stuka. Result: 1 less Stuka in the Harlequins hangar and a bill from the drycleaners, 15£ 10 p, for removing the stains and foul stench from the backseat where poor Dusty soiled himself before his unfortunate demise.
By the time, Ghost and Dusty had been reduced to cinders, our jeep team had lost a race with a rAs engineer and paid for it with their lives. Not to worry, we thought though... Tyler's Mark IV and the defense team was fighting their way up the hill. With the vigour of an alligator in a daycare center, our fearless leader brought his main gun and coax 2 bear on the unfortunate rAs infantry... and Elvis who thought he was home free and decided to man an AA gun. One shot - One kill - and a baffled Elvis had left the building.
We managed to turn the tides in our favour though, and spent the remainder of this round sitting solidly on all flags. And while that may sound simple, rAs had no intention on giving up at this point. Some daring attempts were made, including a brave pilot bailing out on top of the hill in an attempt grab Tyler's tank while he was repairing it. The lead Harlequin wasn't gonna fork it over that easy though and quickly got in while frantically spinning his turret and shooting main gun in the hopes that the blast damage would kill the aggressor. Hearing the clonks of metal on metal, he ditched his tank, only to see the rAs pilot snatch it in front of him. Fuming with rage, he expacked the poor bugger to smithereens and sent a big piece of burning rAs tank through poor Spam who was rushing to his aid. The job got done tho! :p:
Round 3 (Allied): Harlequins 174 GLA: 0
After a 5 minute break while people we're getting refreshments in the form of coffee, beer and langos (no, not the hungarian flatbread), we kicked off for a third and fourth round of.... *sigh* ... Kharkov.
We got off to a great start, with the east flag being the only greyed out flag for a full five minutes. Once it turned, rAs only real concern was getting out of that level of hell their HQ was reduced to. In spite of some very brave attempts, and some quite surprising infantry breakthroughs, they never got back into the game and were bled, bombed and shelled into the last round of the match.
Round 4 (Axis): Harlequins 153 GLA: 0
Eager to get it over with, we decided to turn on the heat on rAs. Quickly securing the east flag and the hill, we threw ourselves at the last flag in an attempt to end the round before it had begun. rAs, however, weren't gonna give it up easy, and they made that very clear with an ardent defense of their last flag in spite of heavy losses and a constant artillery barrage, while death jesters, tanks and planes swept in wave after wave after wave. Eventually, the flag was turned, and with rAs frantically trying to get back into the game with some fast infantry moves across the river directly for the hill, we locked it down and ended it all with a
final score of 631-0 in our favour.
In spite of the heavy loss rAs endured tonight, let it be said that these guys showed great vigour and energy in their constant attacks. Good skills too! No moaning and no accusations in spite of the dark cloud that came down on their base four rounds in a row leaves us with great respect and wishes for all the best for rAs.
GGs and GL rAs.
Ghost
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Awards:
Tyler - for best action scene - when he rammed his MarkIV up Elvis' @ss while cannonboosting his way up a hill.
Chili - for best blooper - when he ignored repeated screams of 'hold your fire' and promptly turned Doom and his stolen tank into a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle.
Doom - best male actor - Nice and timely HALOs making sure we had the upper edge all the time.
Tankgirl - best female actor - If you've seen her piccie, you'll know why. That - and 'shat lag' (don't ask!) :p:
and finally... Doom - best soundtrack - for his highpitched moan bearing a frightening resemblance to the youngest members of the Wienersängerknaben boys choir, when Chili dropped 500 lbs of man-loving ordnance on his getaway tank.
Ps: Hill team! Played... ;)
Maps: 10vs10 - Kharkov, Kharkov
Prior to the match, we had litterally no idea of what we were up against. We'd done no research on our opponents, and nobody really didn't care if these guys turned out to be hardboiled gamer junkies or just another walk in the park. Nonetheless, spirits were high prior to match kickoff with impressions of Fat Bastard and some VERY disgusting reflections on the minimum age of sexual debutantes on Teamspeak...
Round 1 (Allied): Harlequins: 146 rAs: 0
So, the match started, and we got off to a rather shaky start with flags greyed out here and there sometimes for minutes. Most notorious was the battle for the hill which seemed to take more time than Pamela Anderson needs to get an orgasm. This skirmish peaked when the hill defense saw no less than 3 rAs tanks racing for the hill. A concentrated effort by tankers, planes and infantry repelled them, however, and the hill was secured.
With the hill in our hands we started digging in. Our valiant opponent, however, had different intentions than letting us fortify our positions. When everything looked firmly under control, the west flag grayed out, and from there on we struggled to get it back and keep it - with rAs even sending us counting down for a minute or so. Nonetheless, we were in overall control of the game, and bled rAs to death.
Special highlights during this round was when our fearless pilot Doom bailed into an axis tank and pleading on TS for people to hold their fire while he raced back with it. Sadly, Chili decided to send him packing with a wellplaced divebomb faster than you could press 'F6 F3'.
Round 2 (Axis): Harlequins: 158 rAs: 0
Onwards to axis, we got off to a spiffing start with yours truly (Ghost) baffling the entire match team with a triple lutz with flying axle and double camel spin upon take-off in the Stuka. Result: 1 less Stuka in the Harlequins hangar and a bill from the drycleaners, 15£ 10 p, for removing the stains and foul stench from the backseat where poor Dusty soiled himself before his unfortunate demise.
By the time, Ghost and Dusty had been reduced to cinders, our jeep team had lost a race with a rAs engineer and paid for it with their lives. Not to worry, we thought though... Tyler's Mark IV and the defense team was fighting their way up the hill. With the vigour of an alligator in a daycare center, our fearless leader brought his main gun and coax 2 bear on the unfortunate rAs infantry... and Elvis who thought he was home free and decided to man an AA gun. One shot - One kill - and a baffled Elvis had left the building.
We managed to turn the tides in our favour though, and spent the remainder of this round sitting solidly on all flags. And while that may sound simple, rAs had no intention on giving up at this point. Some daring attempts were made, including a brave pilot bailing out on top of the hill in an attempt grab Tyler's tank while he was repairing it. The lead Harlequin wasn't gonna fork it over that easy though and quickly got in while frantically spinning his turret and shooting main gun in the hopes that the blast damage would kill the aggressor. Hearing the clonks of metal on metal, he ditched his tank, only to see the rAs pilot snatch it in front of him. Fuming with rage, he expacked the poor bugger to smithereens and sent a big piece of burning rAs tank through poor Spam who was rushing to his aid. The job got done tho! :p:
Round 3 (Allied): Harlequins 174 GLA: 0
After a 5 minute break while people we're getting refreshments in the form of coffee, beer and langos (no, not the hungarian flatbread), we kicked off for a third and fourth round of.... *sigh* ... Kharkov.
We got off to a great start, with the east flag being the only greyed out flag for a full five minutes. Once it turned, rAs only real concern was getting out of that level of hell their HQ was reduced to. In spite of some very brave attempts, and some quite surprising infantry breakthroughs, they never got back into the game and were bled, bombed and shelled into the last round of the match.
Round 4 (Axis): Harlequins 153 GLA: 0
Eager to get it over with, we decided to turn on the heat on rAs. Quickly securing the east flag and the hill, we threw ourselves at the last flag in an attempt to end the round before it had begun. rAs, however, weren't gonna give it up easy, and they made that very clear with an ardent defense of their last flag in spite of heavy losses and a constant artillery barrage, while death jesters, tanks and planes swept in wave after wave after wave. Eventually, the flag was turned, and with rAs frantically trying to get back into the game with some fast infantry moves across the river directly for the hill, we locked it down and ended it all with a
final score of 631-0 in our favour.
In spite of the heavy loss rAs endured tonight, let it be said that these guys showed great vigour and energy in their constant attacks. Good skills too! No moaning and no accusations in spite of the dark cloud that came down on their base four rounds in a row leaves us with great respect and wishes for all the best for rAs.
GGs and GL rAs.
Ghost
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Awards:
Tyler - for best action scene - when he rammed his MarkIV up Elvis' @ss while cannonboosting his way up a hill.
Chili - for best blooper - when he ignored repeated screams of 'hold your fire' and promptly turned Doom and his stolen tank into a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle.
Doom - best male actor - Nice and timely HALOs making sure we had the upper edge all the time.
Tankgirl - best female actor - If you've seen her piccie, you'll know why. That - and 'shat lag' (don't ask!) :p:
and finally... Doom - best soundtrack - for his highpitched moan bearing a frightening resemblance to the youngest members of the Wienersängerknaben boys choir, when Chili dropped 500 lbs of man-loving ordnance on his getaway tank.
Ps: Hill team! Played... ;)